7. Class: Global Perspectives
Your Grade: C
You Learned: How to pretend you care about the 10:40 window, when really all you care about is how fast 10:45 is going to come.
6. Class: Foundations of Leadership
Your Grade: A
You Learned: In a large group of people, it’s easier not to get caught sleeping. But not easier to think up a funny comment to shout out at an opportune time, and not have it be overshadowed by someone else’s quicker, even funnier comment.
5. Class: Bible Study Methods
Your Grade: B
You Learned: You can write an 8 page paper on two verses of the Bible. And that if you do exactly what the teacher says, you will at least get a C.
4. Class: Rhetoric and Research
Your Grade: B
You Learned: By “research” they really mean “stuff you already know and a bunch of made up citations”. (There is no way they check every single source of every single paper.
3. Class: Intro to Office Software
Your Grade: D
You Learned: The term “busy work” was most likely developed by someone who was taking this class. That you will never fully understand the purpose of Microsoft Access and you are okay with that.
2. Class: Systematic Theology I
Your Grade: B
You Learned: There is nothing funny about Transcendental Meditation except mispronunciations.
1. Class: Any Bible Class
Your Grade: C
You Learned: It is possible to pass this class with out ever opening a Bible, concordance, or commentary, regardless of what your father told you.
Woodward
Bernstein
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 12:53 pm
i took foundations of leadership and rhetoric and research last semester, and i’m taking systematic theology 1 this semester! i thought foundations of leadership was an okay class. I HATED rhetoric and research (i took it with elliot and failed it) so i have to retake it next semester. should i take it with Horne or Heide? I SERIOUSLY want advice on which of the two was a better teacher! i really like systematic theology 1 this semester! i’m taking it with McRoberts, and I really enjoy his teaching style! i would recomment people take a his classes if u enjoy lectures that don’t teach strictly from the textbook!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Horne- is young, good teacher when she wants to be. I took honors with her and had a grand time.
Heide- have no info for ya sorry.
Take Honors Rhet and Research if you can. less busy work.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 2:37 pm
thank you very much!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 3:21 pm
all of those are totally true. When i took Foundations of leadership a couple years ago there were people watching the O.C. in the back row
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Number 4: turnitin.com knows.
They know.
Be forewarned.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 4:04 pm
2wp really ppl were watching the o.c. in the back row? that’s awesome! lol
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 4:35 pm
I am so appalled at the type of person that would watch the O.C. during class. Seriously. Sickening. You’re paying $1400 a class for that?
At least watch Flight of the Conchords or something.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Flight of the What?
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Conchords, n00b.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 5:47 pm
never heard of it…
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 6:20 pm
yeah well that when it was still cool to watch the O.C…. It was three years ago so i dont know if flight of the Conchords was around. i just heard of it this last summer.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 7:09 pm
it is still cool in my opinion to watch the O.C.
lol
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 8:25 pm
well your a freshman so i guess thats ok
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 8:42 pm
thank you
Wednesday, March 19, 2008 at 10:41 am
Class: Weight Training
Your Grade: A+++++
You Learned: North Central has cable in the fitness center.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008 at 11:39 am
Class: History of Western Philosophy
Your Grade: C-
You learned: Philosophy sucks. Glen Menzies sucks. But is it all just shadows of some reality where forms and particulars live in unity and nothing is based on inductive reasoning?
Wednesday, March 19, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Class: Physical Science by Inquiry
Your Grade: C
You Learned: If you bring your lunch with you to class, then you only feel obligated to give yourself a headache by straining to understand what is being said for half of this slot class.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008 at 2:04 pm
All of these posts represent the kind of
angst-ridden under-achieving that would
give rise to a publication like The Plight…
…which is not to say I don’t still read it.
Thursday, March 20, 2008 at 10:29 pm
my favorite …
1. You Learned: It is possible to pass this class with out ever opening a Bible, concordance, or commentary, regardless of what your father told you.
this was one of the funniest and most true entries yet- good job bernstein and woodward!
Saturday, March 22, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Rhetoric and research=UGH…never take a class with Horne if it’s first hour..she never shows up/is always late…I got an A on every paper…didn’t turn in the stupid mid-term and got a C in the class…tell me how that works.
Sunday, March 23, 2008 at 12:35 am
I CLEP-ed out of Rhetoric and Research…easiest 3 credits I ever got. Go to http://www.clep.org to find out which ones you can CLEP out of. Seriously, they’re so much easier than the classes…and they’ll save you about $1,200 for each one you pass…
Great post, Bernstein. This is all so true.
Sunday, March 23, 2008 at 12:38 am
Class: Systematic Theology III
Grade: B
Learned: You can skip the readings and still get higher grades on the pop quizzes than the suckers who actually did the readings. (True story)
Class: Pentecostal Distinctives
Grade: B+
Learned: You can either work your butt off on your papers or just write whatever you feel like and Dr. Allen will glance at it and give you a 93 anyway.
Sunday, March 23, 2008 at 12:39 am
Oh, and NCU also has a list of accepted CLEP tests as well…it’s on their website.
Sunday, March 23, 2008 at 4:32 pm
1. You Learned: It is possible to pass this class with out ever opening a Bible, concordance, or commentary, regardless of what your father told you.
I don’t know what’s worse, wasting your money, not giving any effort….or admittedly going an entire semester w/o opening your Bible….
Monday, March 24, 2008 at 8:54 am
oh snap…. http://www.biblegateway.com ftw
Monday, March 24, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Hmmm…. you are giving away all my secrets . . . between http://www.biblegateway.com and wikipedia . . . you never have to crack a textbook, commentary, or your lecture notes!!!!!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008 at 12:32 am
Depends who your professors are…Wikipedia only works if they’re oblivious to it and don’t realize that it’s an open encyclopedia.
Or if they’re senile and “don’t have an internet at home.”
Tuesday, March 25, 2008 at 1:23 am
Aaaaaand the greatest resource of all time for any english class: http://www.pinkmonkey.com.
It’s legal cliff notes, basically, only they’re thorough and well-organized.
BOOYA.